Home is not home anymore. People say home is where the heart is and I finally get it. Home is not a place anymore. Home has become someone, not somewhere. But it´s strange. The place where, just some time ago, was your safe place, your hidden corner of the world it´s not yours anymore. Not just because one of the sisters literally seized up your old bedroom but because it feels empty...the place you´d happily go to be alone and step aside of the world (and how damn good it felt sometimes) now seems lonely...such irony.
Although there will always be saudade and nostalgia. The jokes with the sisters, the football chat with dad, the political and tech chats with the uncle, hearing your grandma tell that story of the scare you gave her when you were little for the thousand time (and you will never ever get tired of hearing her told such stories)...
My conclusion of this, and in case it happens to you too dear reader, is: you must have chosen right. If you felt good alone and now don´t...if it feels something is missing, even for a day, maybe that´s the universe saying that, at least one decision in your life you took right. And yes, it´s not easy leave behind the ones who you grew up with and the ones who raised you but sure they will feel they did it right...one has to grow up and fly on your own, I guess.
P.S. Yup, I do know the latest blog post was 1 year ago...and I wish I was disciplined and had documented most of the thing here but...there´s some stuff you don´t even know what to write about it. For the good, but mostly for the bad.
Long-one-year-story-short, I´m in the right place with the right person.
18 de dezembro de 2015
14 de novembro de 2014
Her
I needed her
To come from afar
Needed to change
Become what now we are
Alone in the dark
Interrupted by white bright light
Waiting for something
For someone that would fight
Confidence that she has
Beautiful which she is
Someone you have to hold on to
Not lose who has these
Big steps to take
Big decisions to make
Being part of a dream
A lifetime decision at stake
Sounds that brought us together
Perfect lyrics, perfect melody
Maybe fate
Two souls in harmony
The future we can't know
Can be uncertain, can be vain
But at every present I'll be sure
If I let her go I'm insane
To come from afar
Needed to change
Become what now we are
Alone in the dark
Interrupted by white bright light
Waiting for something
For someone that would fight
Confidence that she has
Beautiful which she is
Someone you have to hold on to
Not lose who has these
Big steps to take
Big decisions to make
Being part of a dream
A lifetime decision at stake
Sounds that brought us together
Perfect lyrics, perfect melody
Maybe fate
Two souls in harmony
The future we can't know
Can be uncertain, can be vain
But at every present I'll be sure
If I let her go I'm insane
12 de outubro de 2014
One
Would be silly of me not to mention such an important date in one of the places that won me her over...
One year (and one week) with best person in the world.
It's amazing how I wished for this for so long and now, after one year, I still have a surreal feeling about it. Don't know if it's because the way we met, the distance that we made sure it wouldn't be a problem or...how I'm about to move in with her when my (professional) future still leaves my head every single day wondering if everything will go well.
But one thing I'm sure...through good or bad times I wanna be with her forever. I love her like crazy.
One year (and one week) with best person in the world.
It's amazing how I wished for this for so long and now, after one year, I still have a surreal feeling about it. Don't know if it's because the way we met, the distance that we made sure it wouldn't be a problem or...how I'm about to move in with her when my (professional) future still leaves my head every single day wondering if everything will go well.
But one thing I'm sure...through good or bad times I wanna be with her forever. I love her like crazy.
5 de setembro de 2014
26 de julho de 2014
How I met you mother - pilot epi.
To Josefina and Vicente
I keep recreating the story in my mind. Not knowing why. Perfecting the details, polishing it. Not like I'm going around telling it to everyone...as much as I wouldn't mind do that...as much as I wish I would do that...as much as I hope someone asks me to tell them. The long version, not the long-story-short one.
Sure everyone has their story and it feels special for them but how many can say it all started with...a Youtube comment? Yes, you've read it well. A XXI century love story. Such a random thing to do this days... Who would have guessed you would find love that way?
I also wonder about the amount of details that, not having gone my - our - way, our paths would never cross. Perhaps not a good mind exercise to do but it helps me realize how lucky I was. 21 and 22. We never found love. So many people crossed our lives. She living near the largest city of the country and studying there...what were the odds? So many chances to be presented to a friend of a friend and ensue love as most stories go and yet we find each other...350km away. You could tell...you could easily tell she was special.
Our minds worked on how it could work... And not spoiling the next episodes, we made it work. She made it work. Not moving mountains as people say but moving cities, to make it happen. And I will forever thank her for that. And tell everyone who has some time to spare how click on "send comment" can change your life.
I keep recreating the story in my mind. Not knowing why. Perfecting the details, polishing it. Not like I'm going around telling it to everyone...as much as I wouldn't mind do that...as much as I wish I would do that...as much as I hope someone asks me to tell them. The long version, not the long-story-short one.
Sure everyone has their story and it feels special for them but how many can say it all started with...a Youtube comment? Yes, you've read it well. A XXI century love story. Such a random thing to do this days... Who would have guessed you would find love that way?
I also wonder about the amount of details that, not having gone my - our - way, our paths would never cross. Perhaps not a good mind exercise to do but it helps me realize how lucky I was. 21 and 22. We never found love. So many people crossed our lives. She living near the largest city of the country and studying there...what were the odds? So many chances to be presented to a friend of a friend and ensue love as most stories go and yet we find each other...350km away. You could tell...you could easily tell she was special.
Our minds worked on how it could work... And not spoiling the next episodes, we made it work. She made it work. Not moving mountains as people say but moving cities, to make it happen. And I will forever thank her for that. And tell everyone who has some time to spare how click on "send comment" can change your life.
20 de julho de 2014
So...
It´s the same old start...I said I would keep this more updated and it´s even worse than the year before... Oh well, let´s throw the blame to the microblogging shenanigans aka Twitter and Instagram. Ok, I´m to blame...I use those things quite often... But who reads blogs nowadays anyway? Silly people like those ones who still write them probably.
Long story short: Graduated. I´m at the same "Summer job" I got last year. And, about the girlfriend, only one thing changed...I love her even more as I spend more and more time with her.
Not-so-short-story/future plans: The plan is go to Porto, find a job there and stay with the one I love every single day. Nothing would make me more happy than to walk around Porto holding hands with her and going to lots of cool events in the city. I´ll never grow tired of that. Never thought I would come back to that Summer job I mentioned but the guy called again and I´m seeing it as an excellent opportunity to save some money to keep me going for a good while if something goes wrong or the search for a job at Porto goes on for a while. I´d honestly work at whatever place to go home to her every day. I fear so much something can go wrong as money plays a big part in this plans and I don´t have what you can call a skill or a talent (or money saved...), but I guess that´s quite natural...the uni-to-grown-up-get-a-job part of life must be frightening for many. And if it would be like that if I was the old forever-alone-Andre one year ago, imagine how it is now that I found the one I´ve been looking for all my life. It´s silly but she´s my first ever girlfriend and it´s...I don´t know...it just feels so good. It´s that kind of stuff you read like "oh you know, it´s love" but you dismiss it or think it´s lame but then it happens to you and all the it´s the most powerful feeling in the world kind of lame shenanigans make total sense. I try to show her, and tell her, and write her how I feel but it´s just so immense. So overwhelming. You always fear to lose your loved ones but this kind of fear is different. It makes you be a better person, improve, grow up, love better. And that´s what I need to do. Throw all the fears and doubts away and fight for everything go as I (or should I start writing "we"??) planned.
Muuuuuch more could have be said about this last [awesome] months that I would have liked to share in detail. There have been so many days with her that should have been replicated here in detail... They are all in my heart, and in some way I like that some are just between me and her, but you feel like telling the whole world how awesome this feeling is. I know it can sound lame and boring...I was the one thinking that not long ago...but you will see if you haven´t already.
Keep stopping by for this kind of messy-update posts...I think I´m good at them!
Long story short: Graduated. I´m at the same "Summer job" I got last year. And, about the girlfriend, only one thing changed...I love her even more as I spend more and more time with her.
Not-so-short-story/future plans: The plan is go to Porto, find a job there and stay with the one I love every single day. Nothing would make me more happy than to walk around Porto holding hands with her and going to lots of cool events in the city. I´ll never grow tired of that. Never thought I would come back to that Summer job I mentioned but the guy called again and I´m seeing it as an excellent opportunity to save some money to keep me going for a good while if something goes wrong or the search for a job at Porto goes on for a while. I´d honestly work at whatever place to go home to her every day. I fear so much something can go wrong as money plays a big part in this plans and I don´t have what you can call a skill or a talent (or money saved...), but I guess that´s quite natural...the uni-to-grown-up-get-a-job part of life must be frightening for many. And if it would be like that if I was the old forever-alone-Andre one year ago, imagine how it is now that I found the one I´ve been looking for all my life. It´s silly but she´s my first ever girlfriend and it´s...I don´t know...it just feels so good. It´s that kind of stuff you read like "oh you know, it´s love" but you dismiss it or think it´s lame but then it happens to you and all the it´s the most powerful feeling in the world kind of lame shenanigans make total sense. I try to show her, and tell her, and write her how I feel but it´s just so immense. So overwhelming. You always fear to lose your loved ones but this kind of fear is different. It makes you be a better person, improve, grow up, love better. And that´s what I need to do. Throw all the fears and doubts away and fight for everything go as I (or should I start writing "we"??) planned.
Muuuuuch more could have be said about this last [awesome] months that I would have liked to share in detail. There have been so many days with her that should have been replicated here in detail... They are all in my heart, and in some way I like that some are just between me and her, but you feel like telling the whole world how awesome this feeling is. I know it can sound lame and boring...I was the one thinking that not long ago...but you will see if you haven´t already.
Keep stopping by for this kind of messy-update posts...I think I´m good at them!
25 de abril de 2014
Pause it Play it
Through a web of cables and wires
Where everything can be found
We came across
At a point of convergence
So far away
So close
Fast forward
To tiny streets wanderings
To balconies of wonderful landscapes
Sunsets, there, with you
So simple
So meaningful
Fast forward
To clicks of memorable places
That were just ours for a period of time
To be shared
Lights showing us the way
Alleys guiding us
To unique art
Fast forward
To the riverside
To the top of a bridge
To a lost place
To a discovery
Waiting for us
Fast forward
To intertwined hands
And arms around the waist
To lips connecting
To your house
You and me
Where everything can be found
We came across
At a point of convergence
So far away
So close
Fast forward
To tiny streets wanderings
To balconies of wonderful landscapes
Sunsets, there, with you
So simple
So meaningful
Fast forward
To clicks of memorable places
That were just ours for a period of time
To be shared
Lights showing us the way
Alleys guiding us
To unique art
Fast forward
To the riverside
To the top of a bridge
To a lost place
To a discovery
Waiting for us
Fast forward
To intertwined hands
And arms around the waist
To lips connecting
To your house
You and me
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