Her

I needed her
To come from afar
Needed to change
Become what now we are

Alone in the dark
Interrupted by white bright light
Waiting for something
For someone that would fight

Confidence that she has
Beautiful which she is
Someone you have to hold on to
Not lose who has these

Big steps to take
Big decisions to make
Being part of a dream
A lifetime decision at stake

Sounds that brought us together
Perfect lyrics, perfect melody
Maybe fate
Two souls in harmony

The future we can't know
Can be uncertain, can be vain
But at every present I'll be sure
If I let her go I'm insane

One

Would be silly of me not to mention such an important date in one of the places that won me her over...

One year (and one week) with best person in the world.

It's amazing how I wished for this for so long and now, after one year, I still have a surreal feeling about it. Don't know if it's because the way we met, the distance that we made sure it wouldn't be a problem or...how I'm about to move in with her when my (professional) future still leaves my head every single day wondering if everything will go well.

But one thing I'm sure...through good or bad times I wanna be with her forever. I love her like crazy.

Little Snippet of Love

11 months ago I met someone.

Someone special.

Someone I will love forever.

How I met you mother - pilot epi.

To Josefina and Vicente

I keep recreating the story in my mind. Not knowing why. Perfecting the details, polishing it. Not like I'm going around telling it to everyone...as much as I wouldn't mind do that...as much as I wish I would do that...as much as I hope someone asks me to tell them. The long version, not the long-story-short one.
Sure everyone has their story and it feels special for them but how many can say it all started with...a Youtube comment? Yes, you've read it well. A XXI century love story. Such a random thing to do this days... Who would have guessed you would find love that way?
I also wonder about the amount of details that, not having gone my - our - way, our paths would never cross. Perhaps not a good mind exercise to do but it helps me realize how lucky I was. 21 and 22. We never found love. So many people crossed our lives. She living near the largest city of the country and studying there...what were the odds? So many chances to be presented to a friend of a friend and ensue love as most stories go and yet we find each other...350km away. You could tell...you could easily tell she was special.
Our minds worked on how it could work... And not spoiling the next episodes, we made it work. She made it work. Not moving mountains as people say but moving cities, to make it happen. And I will forever thank her for that. And tell everyone who has some time to spare how click on "send comment" can change your life.

So...

It´s the same old start...I said I would keep this more updated and it´s even worse than the year before... Oh well, let´s throw the blame to the microblogging shenanigans aka Twitter and Instagram. Ok, I´m to blame...I use those things quite often... But who reads blogs nowadays anyway? Silly people like those ones who still write them probably.

Long story short: Graduated. I´m at the same "Summer job" I got last year. And, about the girlfriend, only one thing changed...I love her even more as I spend more and more time with her.

Not-so-short-story/future plans: The plan is go to Porto, find a job there and stay with the one I love every single day. Nothing would make me more happy than to walk around Porto holding hands with her and going to lots of cool events in the city. I´ll never grow tired of that. Never thought I would come back to that Summer job I mentioned but the guy called again and I´m seeing it as an excellent opportunity to save some money to keep me going for a good while if something goes wrong or the search for a job at Porto goes on for a while. I´d honestly work at whatever place to go home to her every day. I fear so much something can go wrong as money plays a big part in this plans and I don´t have what you can call a skill or a talent (or money saved...), but I guess that´s quite natural...the uni-to-grown-up-get-a-job part of life must be frightening for many. And if it would be like that if I was the old forever-alone-Andre one year ago, imagine how it is now that I found the one I´ve been looking for all my life. It´s silly but she´s my first ever girlfriend and it´s...I don´t know...it just feels so good. It´s that kind of stuff you read like "oh you know, it´s love" but you dismiss it or think it´s lame but then it happens to you and all the it´s the most powerful feeling in the world kind of lame shenanigans make total sense. I try to show her, and tell her, and write her how I feel but it´s just so immense. So overwhelming. You always fear to lose your loved ones but this kind of fear is different. It makes you be a better person, improve, grow up, love better. And that´s what I need to do. Throw all the fears and doubts away and fight for everything go as I (or should I start writing "we"??) planned.

Muuuuuch more could have be said about this last [awesome] months that I would have liked to share in detail. There have been so many days with her that should have been replicated here in detail... They are all in my heart, and in some way I like that some are just between me and her, but you feel like telling the whole world how awesome this feeling is. I know it can sound lame and boring...I was the one thinking that not long ago...but you will see if you haven´t already.

Keep stopping by for this kind of messy-update posts...I think I´m good at them!

Pause it Play it

Through a web of cables and wires
Where everything can be found
We came across
At a point of convergence
So far away
So close
Fast forward
To tiny streets wanderings
To balconies of wonderful landscapes
Sunsets, there, with you
So simple
So meaningful
Fast forward
To clicks of memorable places
That were just ours for a period of time
To be shared
Lights showing us the way
Alleys guiding us
To unique art
Fast forward
To the riverside
To the top of a bridge
To a lost place
To a discovery
Waiting for us
Fast forward
To intertwined hands
And arms around the waist
To lips connecting
To your house
You and me

The Little Things

Many say love is in the little things. Little [seemingly unimportant] gestures that mean more than the gesture itself. Gestures done not to impress but show that you care. I enjoy watching movies. Far from being a movie addict. Unfortunately I rarely go to the cinema and I have an awful memory cinema-wise...names of actors and directors escape me often and even to remind myself if I have or not watched certain movie can sometimes be a struggle... But for these last years, late at night, when everyone is sleeping, I enjoy get a movie a movie ready, get the blankets ready, get the late night snacks ready and lose myself for, at least, 90 minutes in someone´s story. For the past weeks I´ve had, yet again, all the time in the world between reasonable-spaced-in-time uni exams to continue this hobby...and yet I didn´t. Something changed. Can said experience be better if you share it with someone? How could it be? How dare someone invade my late night aloneness that I cherished so much? Does holding hands with someone make the experience better?...maintaining you immersed in the story? Maybe it is better. And that´s why I´m saving the movies I so eager to watch to watch them with her. Because...for some reason...she makes them better. It´s the little things.

2014

New year. Resolutions? Let me tell you what and where the 2004 me saw the 2014 me: I would have a job, not at any time knowing what I would do exactly, but something economic and/or financial related looked interesting, so I followed that path since someone decided that at the age of 14 we should make a big life decision affecting our future. I would probably work at a bank but, as stated before, had no idea what people in banks do but it seemed interesting every time I pictured it. On that path there was a thing called Mathematics that would be a good help in getting to an open office on a high-rise building floor where I would have a desk doing a job I would like to do. I failed and I only have myself to blame. Coincidentally it happened at a time where economy and finance took one of the biggest hits in its history. And I was in a country particularly hit by it and living in a small town. I hate myself for blaming something or someone other than myself for the 2004 vision not being a reality. Thing is, I´m lucky. I´ve always had food in my plate, a roof over my head and, as grandma always says, as long as you´re healthy it´s all good....and yet the only thing I got as a real job lasted 5 months. In the end it was a fun experience that somehow (although with big help of co-workers) I managed to do it successfully despite its big responsibility. But I feel like at my age I should give more to my family and not feel like a burden to them. They never told me I was a burden and I don´t even know if they think that but I feel like I let them down being someone who had had good grades growing up and I´m now taking a degree - International Relations - at university that [let´s still hope not] will take me nowhere with just a bachelors degree, when the 2004 kid thought that at the end of it he would have someone calling him for a job. Welcome to the real world you [still] naive kid...

Leaving all the doubt and fear behind and onto good things, that same naive boy, met someone who made all that fear and doubt disappear on these first days of the new year and for the best part of the last 3 months. Being shy, not having a huge group of friends and preferring to stay at home instead of partying were never good when it came to meet a special girl but I always told myself I wouldn´t mind the wait. I knew I would find a beautiful, both inside and out girl, with whom I would share all the silly stories and a new year´s eve kiss. And I did. And love feels so good! All I want is to see a smile on her face when I´m with her. It´s sort of funny and ironic though that being in love grows another fears...of letting her down...of disappointing her...of losing her... But, those are the good kind of fears. They make you work for what you got. And that´s my resolution...as generic as it could be: become a better person. Have the will and motivation that is lacking for the past years. And be with her as many times as possible.
_ _ _ _

This post is slightly confusing and I´m sure I could find better words and make it longer and prettier but I´m already hugely procrastinating (there go my resolutions...) for this exam I have tomorrow. Also i´m not particularly talented when it comes to put fear, doubt and love into words...

If procrastination doesn´t get in the way too many times I will try to write more here. Hope you have a wonderful 2014!